End of the Metro Fun Ride to Largo - Success!

Thank you so much to all the Endies who rode to Largo today. It was a genuine good time. I believe you've helped reinvent what it means to enjoy each other's company. Or at least added another venue to do so.

For those asking, right now I'm not sure there is enough interest to order (and sell) a new batch of shirts. But, if there is, the only way I'll know is if people e-mail tips@endofthemetro.com.

If you would like to be the first to know when our next End of the Metro video is released, become a fan on Facebook, of subscribe on YouTube.

End of the Metro Fun Ride

Neverland. Middle Earth. Southwest DC. These are all, of course, fake places. As such, you can never visit them.

The end of the metro is not a fake place. Is it magical? Yes. Is it mythical? No. It’s real. And you can see it. I’m inviting you to do just that on October 23.

In honor of End of the Metro’s first six episodes, I’m planning a social outing to the end of the Blue Line: Largo Town Center. I hope you’ll take a few hours on Saturday, October 23, to join.

When: Saturday, October 23, 1 PM.

Where: On the platform at L’Enfant Plaza. Blue Line to Largo. Meet in the front car.

What Will We Do At Largo: We’ll eat lunch, relax, and enjoy a short speech from my good friend, motivational speaker Rich Spain. (You may know his alter ego, Greg Tindale.) Plus, the ride to Largo itself is part of the social outing. For example, on board the train, we’ll share uncomfortable glances through the reflection in the windows.

Why Do This: The same reason people go bowling: To force a social situation. Think of this like bowling, but without your friend Eric doing that stupid dance he does. And, like bowling, people won’t cast aspersions if you eat chicken fingers.

T-Shirts – I have a limited number of End of the Metro t-shirts to distribute. The first 10 people to RSVP (and show up) will get one. As for the other shirts, I’ll shoot them out of a t-shirt cannon that I will steal from Nationals Park. Failing that, t-shirts may be offered to winners of Train Car Trivia.

It’s for charityif you want: Let’s do some good here. The only cost to you is your train ticket ($5.50 round trip from L’Enfant) and your lunch. BUT I hope you’ll consider opening your Paypal wallet for a great cause. If you do, I’ll match it: If you come on this trip and donate $5 dollars to Susan G. Komen for the Cure, I will match it. To donate, follow this link. http://bit.ly/MetroKomen. You’ll notice this leads to an individual’s donation page. Don’t worry. I know this person. She and I shared a last name until she got married this month. Rest assured, even if you don’t know my sister, the money will go to a great cause. I don’t want to say specifically what Susan G. Komen supports because I’ve managed to make it this far in life without writing a sentence that had the words “my sister” and “breasts” in the same sentence. Not a streak I’m looking to break.

Now What? – RSVP: http://bit.ly/MetroRSVP. If you do, you may win a shirt, and you can register for text message reminders. Message and data rates apply. (I stole that wording from another website.) Then sit and wait until October 23. Don’t sleep in!


FAQ (updated as questions roll in)

Is there anything significant about this day, 10.23?
Yes, it’s Mole Day. Math nerds know what I’m talking about.

What kind of restaurants are there?
Five Guys, Qdoba, Panda Express, Rita’s Ice Cream, Cold Stone, and Magic Johnson Theater concessions stand.

How long is the ride?
It may be the longest Metro ride you’ve ever taken. That’s the point. It’s the end of the metro. If it was any closer, they would build one farther out. But if you need a distraction, bring a book of crossword puzzles. From L’Enfant to Largo is about 24 minutes. If you get sick on long Metro rides, this might not be the trip for you.

Do I have to ride the Metro there?
Well, no. I’d rather have you show up at Largo, then not at all. But riding the Metro there is part of the fun. If driving is your thing, here’s the Google Maps address: 900 Capital Center Boulevard Largo, MD 20774.

Rain or Shine?
Either one.

After this is over, what then?
Consider heading to Adams Morgan for some great improv comedy. Show starts at 10PM. http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=129485783770795

I can't make it - Can I still get a shirt? (Added October 8, 2010)
I ordered a limited supply of shirts, so as not to be presumptuous with my garments. However, in the unlikely situation that there is enough additional demand (say, 20 people) who would like a shirt, I will gladly sell them for $10.

How come when I walk up to a squirrel, he runs away? I don't mean him any harm. (Added October 8, 2010)
Put yourself in the squirrel's position. So tiny. So fragile. When he or she looks up at you, it must be thinking "This man is not dressed appropriately. How embarrassing for me to be seen with him. Run away!" Moral of the story: Tuck in your shirt.

Will there be discounts for Seniors? Just wanted to know because I think that's total bullshit if there are. (Added October 12, 2010)
All seniors ride free. Juniors pay half price. Sophomores pay full price. And freshman carry the seniors' Centrum Silver.

20-30 Minute Delay

Wind is not good for filming End of the Metro, so we will be on a delay, but resume momentarily. In the meantime, here are some of history's worst wind/End of the Metro related incidents

1984 - A gust of wind from the Southwest blows over the Branch Avenue Metro station. Luckily workers and a passerby are able to put it back together before anyone notices.

2002 -An elderly man trying to enter the Shady Grove Metro is met by the mysterious ghost wind that seems to arrive whenever a train is departing. He mistakes this for a sign from a deity and commits seppuku. Luckily workers and a passerby are able to put him back together before anyone notices.

1901 - Before the invention of the electrified third rail, wind is the primary energy source for trains. A normal trip from Metro Center to Gallery Place takes four hours. One afternoon, there is no wind and riders are forced to wait for William McKinley (then Governor-General of the Philippines) to blow them through. The trip takes four-and-a-half hours.

2007 - Excessive winds at a press conference in Vienna muss up the hair of every official slated to speak. The public is horrified. To avoid a recurrance, each official agrees to shave the head of the person sitting to their left. They are: WMATA's John Catoe, Mayor Adrien Fenty, former Mayor Tony Williams (nobody even sure why he was at the event), Health Department chief Pierre Vigilance (yes, that's really his name), Deputy Mayor for Planning Neil Albert, and Cong. Eleanor Holmes Norton.


Snow!!!!!!! Run!!!! Run!!!! Abandon ship!!!


“Give me a metro stop far enough, a driver with the stamina to get there, and a fulcrum on which to place it, and I shall move the world."

-- Archimedes

Big Wig, Small Wig

This is your chance to ask questions that will be answered by either the most important or the most insignificant of our WMATA employees. (Note: Questions are randomly assigned.)

Dear Big Wig, Small Wig:

If possible, please assign this question to the Big Wig. My son wandered off at the Pentagon City Metro. I'm not sure if he ran toward Best Buy or Popeye's Chicken. I haven't seen him in three days. He's 6-years-old and cannot fend for himself. Help. Please. Again, this question definitely deserves the attention of a big wig.

Signed, Amber Alert

Your question will be answered by . . .
Brianne Keeler, Rat Poison Tester, Orange Line

Dear Amber,
No dice. You've got me. But all is not lost; I've got some great news. I'm dying. Normally, this would not be cause for celebration. I know. But, considering my job, it bodes well for your son. He may still be at risk for starvation, rabies, or, kidnappers, but at least he won't have to worry about rats. Best of luck! (If you don't mind...Please forward this to my parents. Subject line: Goodbye.)


Dear Big Wig, Small Wig:
I was observing trains turn around at Shady Grove (don't judge, lol) and noticed that I never see the same train twice. I'm just curious, how many train cars does Metro have?

Signed, Shady Guy at Shady Grove

Your question will be answered by . . .
Armand Morgan, VP of Inventory and Fleet Management, WMATA

Dear Shady,
Why do we park on driveways and drive and parkways? Do you see what I'm driving at? Dave Feldman wrote a great book about Imponderables, or questions that seem to have no answer. And while he proceeded to answer them, that is something I won't do.

Tale of the Train: Largo V. Capitol South

How does Largo stack up vs. other non-end-of-the-line Metro stops? Click the chart below to see how it fares across several categories. (Spoiler alert: Largo wins.)